The Bitch is: IN and ready to snark about celebrities other and dumbasses in the news
So Britney Spears Is Not A Great Mother
[ No Comments ] Posted on 10.30.07 under Celebrity Snark
Today Commissioner Scott Gordon issued his ruling in the ongoing drama that is the Britney Spears vs. Kevin Federline custody battle. The news is, no one is impressed with Britney’s parenting skills and she did not get the 50/50 custody arrangement that she wanted.
Britney ended up with 3 visits a week with the kids. She’ll have them for two daytime visits and one overnight visit per week and these visits will be monitored. The Commish also gave her until Friday to child proof her pool area.
So, Britney’s not really cut out to be a mother. So what? Lots of people aren’t. The main problem is that she has two kids.
Brit has been quoted as saying the kids are “her life” and other vaguely cliche remarks.
The truth is, she could give two shits less about those kids. The only reason she doesn’t let K-Fed completely have them is because of how it would make her look.
I’ve got some news for you Britney: You could not possibly look more insane than you already do. Give the kids up, for their own good and before any more of your batshit rubs off on them. Kevin is going to have a hard enough time with them as it is, given that they are the offspring of the pair of you.
Tags: batshit, Brit, britney spears, Celebrity Snark, crazy, custody, K Fed, Kevin Federline, kids
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Britney Cried All Day Ya’ll
[ No Comments ] Posted on 10.27.07 under Celebrity Snark
Well, yesterday was the big custody showdown between Britney and Kevin and I don’t know how she did in court, but the reporters say she was a broken down mess the whole day.
At one point, while she was running back and forth to the bathroom, presumably to change her sunglasses or hairstyle, a reported asked her how she was doing. Her brilliant reply was, “Eat it, suck it, snort it, fuck it” as she walked back into the courtroom.
The judge didn’t make a decision about custody today, but apparently Britney got some extra time with her kids this weekend, whatever that means. A written ruling on custody is expected from the commissioner on Monday or Tuesday.
In other news from retardville, Britney’s mama, Lynne Spears is writing a parenting book. It will be released on Mother’s Day. Since she did such a fantastic job with Britney, why not spread some advice around?
Tags: britney spears, Celebrity Snark, court, custody, Kevin Federline, kids, lynne spears, mother
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Britney, A No-Show Is A Positive!
[ 4 Comments ] Posted on 10.19.07 under Celebrity Snark
If I want someone to be able to get in touch with me, I give them my correct phone number. If I wanted to avoid someone, I would give them the number to dial-a-prayer.
Well, now Britney Spears has lost visitation rights with her two small sons. I wish I was shocked, but I do have to say I am slightly surprised. I thought that she finally realized that a court order is not a suggestion, but a requirement.
So, there was a hush hush hearing in the custody matter between Britney Spears and Kevin Federline yesterday. I don’t think either party showed up but the lawyers talked with the Commissioner.
Today it was announced that as a result of yesterday’s hearing, Britney Spears has now lost her visitation rights with the kids. It turns out that Britney gave her ex-assistant’s cell phone number to the drug screening agency, and therefore they couldn’t contact her for the court ordered random drug screening. Did they check the gas station and Starbucks? Please, Britney is easy to find. Follow the paps!
So, when you are ordered by the court to do drug testing, a no-show is the same thing as a positive. This is the case because drug addicts try every trick in the book to avoid being tested. Was Britney just stupid or was she avoiding her drug testing?
So, what are the Vegas odds that Britney is out at a club tonight? The girl will never learn. If losing the kids wasn’t a wake up call, then losing visitation won’t be either. She’s sad, and tragic and I feel so sorry for those kids. You know that no matter what, kids love their mom and they need her to clean up.
On a side note, since K-Fed got custody of the boys, has anyone actually seen him with them? Are they destined to be raised by various nannies with no parental interaction whatsoever? If that’s the case then K-Fed and Brit should just let them be adopted to a loving home. I think Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt need to pay these parents a visit!
Tags: britney spears, celebrity, Celebrity Snark, custody, drug screening, visitation
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