The Bitch is: IN and ready to snark about celebrities other and dumbasses in the news
Britney Cried All Day Ya’ll
[ No Comments ] Posted on 10.27.07 under Celebrity Snark
Well, yesterday was the big custody showdown between Britney and Kevin and I don’t know how she did in court, but the reporters say she was a broken down mess the whole day.
At one point, while she was running back and forth to the bathroom, presumably to change her sunglasses or hairstyle, a reported asked her how she was doing. Her brilliant reply was, “Eat it, suck it, snort it, fuck it” as she walked back into the courtroom.
The judge didn’t make a decision about custody today, but apparently Britney got some extra time with her kids this weekend, whatever that means. A written ruling on custody is expected from the commissioner on Monday or Tuesday.
In other news from retardville, Britney’s mama, Lynne Spears is writing a parenting book. It will be released on Mother’s Day. Since she did such a fantastic job with Britney, why not spread some advice around?
Tags: britney spears, Celebrity Snark, court, custody, Kevin Federline, kids, lynne spears, mother
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Sharon Osbourne Is A Quitter
[ No Comments ] Posted on 10.23.07 under Celebrity Snark
Give me a freakin’ break! Sharon Osbourne has no class. I guess that is no surprise since her claim to fame is having one of the world’s most dysfunctional families.
I remember when she was a judge on America’s Got Talent and when she disagreed with Piers Morgan she walked off the stage, peeled off her eyelashes and said she was quitting. We all thought that was just a tantrum, right? Well, it was, because she was back out on stage later and finished the show and the series.
I guess there’s a good reason why they didn’t ask her to judge on Britain’s Got Talent. She’s a drama queen and a quitter.
So, apparently on Simon Cowell’s X-Factor tv show, Sharon Osbourne was a judge. She got into some kind of argument with another judge, Dannii Minogue, before the show, and reportedly went to Minogue’s dressing room and ripped her a new one.
An inside source speculated that Sharon has been jealous of Dannii getting all of the attention, with none being given to Sharon. Let’s hope Sharon doesn’t decide to send Dannii a box of shit in the mail, as she is fond of doing.
Reportedly, Dannii tried to stay calm but Sharon was so verbally abusive towards her that she broke down and had to have her makeup re-done three times.
So, by the time the show started, everyone had straightened up and there was no visible signs of what had happened before the show. But Sharon was still pouting. It was the first of the live finals for the show. When the results were being announced, and it was revealed that two of Sharon’s three acts were being sent home, she walked off the stage and announce, “I’m out. I’m gone.”
What a professional!
As of now, Sharon Osbourne is no longer a judge on X-Factor. However, there is a matter of her contract. If she doesn’t return to the show she will be in violation of the terms of her contract. I’m sure there’s not a sore loser clause in there. So maybe she’ll calm down and get a clue and return to the show, but honestly, why would they want her back?
Tags: Americas Got Talent, box of shit, Celebrity Snark, contract, Dannii Minogue, judge, Sharon Osbourne, television, tv, X Factor
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So, Perez Hilton is a Big Fat Liar
[ No Comments ] Posted on 10.23.07 under Celebrity Snark
Anyone surprised?
So, gossip whore Perez Hilton said that he saw Michelle Rodriguez at Teddy’s at the Roosevelt Hotel and that she was partying hard and had to keep going to the restroom to “powder her nose.”
So, Rodriguez decided to prove once and for all that Perez Hilton is the big fat liar that he is, and went to her doctor to get tested for every drug under the sun. And she tested CLEAN. Yeah, Perez, she tested clean you loser.
Rodriguez has been seen out recently, drinking water.
Tags: Celebrity Snark, clean, drug test, gossip, liar, Michelle Rodriguez, Perez Hilton, whore
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